Category: 162 Scriptwriting
‘La Salle d’Attente’ : Evaluation
“Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world – and defines himself afterwards” – Jean Paul Sartre
As part of the 162 scriptwriting task, we produced a short french-language drama called ‘La Salle d’Attente’, an adaptation of a script that I had written, inspired by French new wave editing techniques. The film explores the concept of life after death in an existential setting : two nameless young men awake to find themselves in a blank waiting room, there only option – to wait until their picture appears, ultimately deciding their chosen paths. Generally, the film succeeded in capturing the script’s atmosphere and mood, however there were elements that could be improved. As part of this analysis, I am going to look at the visual and narrative techniques used within French New Wave cinema, and how I applied them to my own edit. As well as this, I will also reflect on the production of the film, analysing its successes and elements that could have been improved.
When studying genre, there are certain key directors that revolutionised modern french cinema, leading to the creation of French New Wave. Often referred to as the ‘godfather’ of the genre, Jean Luc Godard’s experimental style greatly influenced my own editing decisions. His film ‘À bout de souffle’, changed the general consensus about film-making, using techniques that conventional Hollywood cinema hadn’t seen before. In ‘La Salle d’Attente’, I used jump cuts during scenes of distress, a visual disorerianting of the viewer, and their expectations. The hotel scene in ‘À bout de souffle’, when the couple discuss what Patricia is thinking about, a jump cut is used to instantly cut from Michel’s thoughts to Patricia’s. I used a similar cut in ‘La Salle’, cutting from the chairs to the door, to show the character’s current situation and their aspirations in quick succession. Stylistically, I felt this worked well as the cuts were not frequent, and therefore did not distract any attention away from the visual narrative. In terms of other French-New Wave influences, Truffaut’s ‘Jules et Jim’ greatly influenced my own edit of the film, as its style was something that I wished to draw upon. For instance, the voice-over used between scenes, is similiar to the narrative structure and style we used for our production. The low monotone male narrator is a convention of french-new wave, often creating a surreal separation and outlook from the events as they unfold. This was another strength within the production of the film, as using an older narrator gave a deeper contrast between the older voice and the young central characters.
I felt the film was a success, capturing the existential themes and atmosphere of the ‘waiting room’ well. When writing the film, I imagined the film to look like a Jean-Paul Sartre play, using minimal locations in order to express both religious and philosophical metaphors. This was achieved through the high contrast visuals and lighting. The bright, almost overbearing lighting gave the film a harsh overtone, signifying the metaphysical religious experience that the characters undergo. This gave the film an ambiguous visual setting, allowing the viewer to experience a sense of escapism. This Sartre inspired philosophy could also be applied to the cinematography of the film, which I feel is one of the biggest successes within the film. The tight angled shots and intentional lack of focus help to draw attention to the metaphorical objects within the room. For instance, the long, drawn out close up of the young man’s face staring at the screen is a visual symbol of Sartre’s philosophy : the character ‘encounters himself’ in his final stages before death.
Despite this, there were certain elements of the production that I felt we could have done differently, mostly due to the implications of being the writer of the film. As the writer, I found it difficult to separate myself from the original script, often trying to use dialogue that was unnecessary, placing . Because of this, it became interesting to see my peers edit of the film, as they were able to tell the story in far less words, something that I could not do due to my attachment to the screenplay. This became a minor downfall, making it difficult to edit the scenes which I had pictured to be rich in heavy dialogue. Subsequently, this meant that the pacing of the film seemed much quicker than the script’s 6 pages, considering the final edit is only 5 minutes long. This meant that a whole minutes worth of dialogue was cut from the final film. If we were to re-shoot, I would first re-write a much longer script, with more emphasis on imagery and setting in order for the pacing to be slow and repetitive, as I had originally planned.
To conclude, I feel that the film succeeded in creating a surreal and at times suspenseful atmosphere. The visuals were well matched to my original script : the cinematography and lighting being almost exactly as I could have imagined. However, there were some narrative elements that I was not pleased with, such as the pacing of the overall film.
The visual style of ‘Breathless’ and French New Wave Cinema
Having finished my script ‘Waiting Room’, I decided to research into styles that might later inspire the editing and cinematography of the production. In this post, I look at the editing techniques and visual iconography of French New Wave cinema.
“There used to be just one way. There was one way you could do things. There were people who protected it like a copyright, a secret cult only for the initiated. That’s why I don’t regret making ‘Breathless’ and blowing that all apart.” (Jean Luc-Godard)
For me, the above quote sums up the mentality of new wave cinema, Godard being one of the founders in changing the way Hollywood thought a film should be made. This inspired a new generation of Hollywood film-makers to take influence from european cinema : a classic example being Woody Allen’s post-1970’s transition from slapstick comedy into more ‘european’ style drama.
‘Breathless’ (‘A bout de Souffle’)
‘Breathless’ is an early film from influential french film-maker Jean Luc-Godard, often synonymous with the rise and influence of the French ‘new wave’ movement. The film revolves around Michel, a criminal who models himself on the actor Humphrey Bogart. The film’s visual style and use of editing is considered to have revolutionised the movement, Godard’s use of jump cuts devoiding the systematic nature of Hollywood editing. This is clear in the scene below, which uses a jump cut between the characters entering different areas of the hotel room.
Jump Cuts
Having watched ‘Breathless’ and ‘Jules et Jim’, there were clear conventions, both in visual and narrative, that clearly identify the genre. When producing our short film, we will use jump cuts as a visual convention. In the original french new wave film, these were used as a method to cut down extended sequences. However, as Godard reveals in an interview, this accidentally started an almost rebellion against the traditional editing techniques of Hollywood.
Opening Tracking Shot
As well as jump cuts, another visual technique used in French new wave is the opening tracking shot. Based on the claustrophobic location we are using to film ‘Waiting Room’, to include this kind of convention may be a challenge. However, a 360 degrees panning shot from the middle of the room may work, building up the sense of claustrophobia.
WRITING DEVELOPMENT FOR WAITING ROOM – SECOND DRAFT
Below is the second draft and revised version of my screenplay for ‘Waiting Room’. At this point in the development, I have finished the ending, having re-written my treatment in order to incorporate some new ideas.
Despite this, I still have work to do on the dialogue which has become focused around a narrator rather than each individual character.
WRITING DEVELOPMENT FOR ‘WAITING ROOM’ – 1ST DRAFT.
Below is the first draft for my short film ‘Waiting Room’. At this point in the writing process, I have been working on the narrator dialogue. Before the final script this will have developed much further. Most of the action will remain the same, however this will need fleshing out before the next draft, making sure there are no plot holes.
Subsequently, I am working on the ending of the script which will also be completed in a later draft.
TREATMENT FOR ‘WAITING ROOM’ – ROUGH DRAFT
Below is a very rough draft of my treatment for a short film ‘WAITING ROOM’. I intend to update this further, as the latter half of the treatment is still missing certain details. With this treatment, is also a picture I have taken, which is a visual representation of the final sequence within the film.
A WAITING ROOM. Pale and blandly decorated, the kind of place no one chooses to go to.
Our focus turns to a suited ELDERLY MAN, as he begins to wake up from a peaceful slumber. His face is a withered portrait of a lifetime’s worth of wisdom. His blue suit, complete with breast pocket flowers, seem oddly formal. He instantly looks scared. We now hear a dazed voice-over. The man does not know where he is.
He gradually scans the room around him. We see things from his perspective, a mass of blurry shapes. He takes a pair of wire framed glasses from his shirt, placing them on the bridge of his nose. Still squinting, he turns to the other strangers next to him. He seems clueless. The picture is surreal. We see all six strangers sitting together, all asleep. Not wanting to wake the others he creeps to the doors, trying both. They are locked. We hear him muttering to himself, looking up at a large TV screen positioned between the two doors. The man reads the message as it scrolls across the screen – ‘We will be with you shortly’. Confused, he takes his seat again.
FADE OUT
We hear the ticking of a clock. It is assumed that some time has passed. The ELDERLY MAN awakes again. This time, with an almost eerie uniformity each stranger wakes up from left to right. They turn to look at each other. They all seem confused. The first to react is a YOUNG WOMAN, early 20’s, innocent. Her clothes are torn, her made up face running down her cheeks. Our ELDERLY MAN is worried. Why is she in this state? He taps her on the shoulder. She screams, throwing the man’s arm away. Like the man, she also seems clueless about her surroundings, only expressing it in a far more aggressive state. She is clutching her arm, as if in pain. Although he tries to calm her down, he too feels like doing the same. The woman is now banging on one of the doors, screaming at the ceiling.
After some time, a figure, not one of the sleeping strangers, emerges from a curled up ball blanket. He begins running over to the girl. He is a young man of around 30, with a long beard, tired eyes, and a sense of pessimism in his voice. He tries to calm her down. She won’t listen, but still he persists. Eventually, the man shouts loudly in her face, frightening her into sitting back down. At this point, all six strangers quieten down. The BEARDED MAN has taken control : a natural leader of the desperately confused strangers. He explains he has been in the room for some time, but he has seen people leave. ‘Only when your name appears on screen’, are you allowed to leave’. The ELDERLY MAN, sits back in his chair, yet again falling asleep.
FADE OUT
He awakes again, to the familiar ticking of a clock. The room reappears, as blurry as before. Something appears over him, tapping him frantically, He puts his glasses on, The blurry shape is the BEARDED MAN from earlier. ‘Old Man! Old Man!’ The BEARDED MAN screams ‘Is that your name?’. He looks up, the screen now scrolling his name and the letter ‘A’. He gets up slowly, cautiously walking towards door ‘A’. He tries the door and it opens. He looks around, only the BEARDED MAN is awake. He goes through and a long tunnel is front of him, a bright light coming from the end. He walks through, disappearing into the light.
THE WAITING ROOM – SHORT FILM PITCH + OUTLINE
Below I am taking my short film pitch from an earlier post, and developing it into a more detailed outline.
PITCH
Told from the perspective of one elderly man, a surreal and unfamiliar encounter ensues when a group of strangers meet in a waiting room. Without any knowledge of why they are there, they must decide between two opposing doors in search of an exit.
OUTLINE
An elderly man wakes up in a waiting room, a still expression on his face. His eyes slowly pan the room, until he notices two doors, one on the left, one on the right. He looks at his watch, no time has passed.
‘Why am I here?’
He looks around, to see a young woman, sleeping on a chair near him. After some time, he nudges the woman until she awakes. She is screaming, clutching her arm instinctively. The man tries to calm her, asking the girl what she is waiting for. She is shocked as she too, does not know what she is waiting for. The two look at each other, bewildered as to why they are both in the waiting room.
Until now, a third, younger man has kept himself hidden at the back of the room. He has a long beard, and is crouching in the corner of the room. He speaks, shocking the pair. He points to a T.V screen at the front of the waiting room. He explains that until your name appears, you will not leave the room. The elderly man, accepts this and slumps back into his chair.
However, the girl, runs to the door on the left, hammering on the door in a panicked frenzy. The bearded man runs to her.
‘I’ve been here for longer than I can remember, it’s no use, they won’t come until their ready’
We wake up with the man. Some time has passed and their is now more people in the room. The bearded man looks over the elderly man, tapping him frantically.
‘Old man! Old Man! Is that your name?’
The old man’s name appears on the screen. The old man gets up, and walks towards the door. The room inside is bright, too bright to see in front of him. He reaches another door, and begins to knock on it. The door opens and the man walks upstairs.
The CAMERA tracks backwards, to reveal the others in the waiting room, and then a series of CCTV camera’s.
Joel Davidson 